It is estimated that 1 in 10 residence of Greenville will face a divorce at some point in their lives and many will have children and child custody issues involved.
Divorce for children can be sad, confusing and stressful. It is normal for kids to feel angry when they hear mum and dad are separating. How children react to divorce depends on their age, personality and the process of divorce. Divorce will affect all kids in one way or the other with most kids reacting to divorce with shock, frustration, sadness and worry. However, kids can come out of divorce better and cope up with the situation. The best thing parents can do together is to help kids get through the difficult period of divorce. It is never an easy process but the following tips can help your kids cope with divorce.
1) Break the news together
Breaking the divorce news to your kids might be the most difficult thing to do. Although there is no easier way of doing this, it is essential that both parents be present when the children get the news. Make it clear to your kids the divorce has nothing to do with them. Explain to them the separation is because of reasons between mom and dad and they have nothing to do with it. Explain to them that adults change the way they love and they will understand once they grow up. Give them all the necessary information to get them through the hard times.
2) Make it clear your kid is loved
Children will always feel they are to blame whenever their parents never deliver on promises. Always ensure your children feel loved whatever the circumstances. Assure your child that their parents’ lack of commitment in their relationship has nothing to do with the way they love their children.
3) Encourage kids to communicate their problems
Kids aged 10 years and over should be encouraged to speak up about any problems they might be experiencing. Whenever kids learn to express themselves they gain some sense of empowerment which helps them get through the divorce.
4) Never make excuses for the other parents, be truthful
It is necessary that your child grows up knowing the truth. If one parent fails on something like a visitation, explain to your child what happens but never make up excuses for the other parent. This way, your child will be able to voice his or her frustration and this will help the kids’ better express themselves.
5) Acknowledge the feelings of the kids
As much you might not be able to fix much of their problems or change the way they feel, it is advised that you acknowledge how your kids feel rather than dismissing their feelings. This will make them feel they are not the problem.
Learning how to get through the divorce as the parents will make it easier for the children. Whatever that happened between the two of you should never affect their life of your kids. Always try to keep them out of your problems and present a united front when handling their issues.
More resources if your facing a divorce: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/children-and-divorce.htm